where does it go?

I am going to attempt staining the deck on my house, I say attempt because my wife is working and i am a stay at home dad on the weekend. My son is to young to help so i have to get a sitter so i can do work outside. luckily for me, my son is pretty cute so my sister will watch him for free. i am looking forward to working on the deck. I like to be outside and enjoy the colony of redpoll finches that live in the greenspace behind my house. there are a few other species that i cant identify but i enjoy hearing them sing their ageless sogs of love to each other. the back yard is a pain in the ass for me. I spend four hours every day walking behind a lawnmower as i cut the greens at work. the last thing i want to do when i get home is take care of a yard but i have a compulsion to have the greenest yad in the world. I wonder if it is a reflection of time spent watching my old yard in regina slowly get destroyed by my dogs or if i am just getting old? theother day i saw a commercial about thinning grass that was like a hair club for men ad. it was very clever but scarily accurate. i have all te tendecies of a fourty year old man, well except for the attaction to girls have my age(shiver). I worry what people think about my grass ad my shingles. what are they saying about the weeds in my driveway. then i remember that i am not from here so no matter what i do i will always be an outsider. i might as well have moved to kazakstan the reception would have been just as friendly......peole in small town that have never lived anywhere else develope what i like to refer to as " town syndrome". I overheard a woman at the golf course saying that this summer the clubhouse would be better because there is people from "here" running it. It makes me wonder what happens to these peole when they are forced to move to another place? do they eat crow? do they feel my pain? or do the residents of the new place sense their "town syndrome" and accept them as one of their own? My high school had more people in it than terrace bay. and i couldn't stand high school. I think i need to start planning a move back to familliar skies and eyes